Momentous

Today is a momentous day, replete with awesomeness. Not only does today mark the day I blow the dust of the ages from my trusty blog, but it's also Bon Jovi's birthday.

It's also Dr. Seuss's birthday, which is fine and good and everything, except he's dead, and dead people don't have birthdays. You could argue the point, but I'd rather you didn't. Within these ugly orange and khaki walls I prefer to be right.

Anyhow, so it's Dr. Seuss's birthday and Savannah came home from school all excited about how they'd learned about Dr. Seuss, and I'd be okay with that if it weren't also Bon Jovi's birthday. I'm just thinking, given the choice between studying a dead guy who wrote lines like "I do not like green eggs and ham" and studying an alive guy who wrote lines like "Tonight I sleep on a bed of nails," we ought to be teaching our kids about the guy who sleeps on a freaking bed of nails. Dude, the guy sleeps on nails. That's awesome.

I just don't know if they're really schooling youngsters these days on the basics of rock. Is this No Child Left Behind thing really doing its job? I mean, look, a kid who finishes kindergarten and doesn't know who Alice Cooper is pretty much left behind in my book. Again, you could argue the point, but I wish you'd knock it off. Stop trying to root all your arguments in "fact" and "reality." All I'm saying is Night Ranger rocks. That's all I'm saying.

Just to kind of finish things off on an optical note, this is Daba'a Castle. We visited it last week. Not many other people do, and that's because it's dozens of miles from anywhere, on a gravel road, guarded by wild dogs. It looked like one of the dogs was gnawing on a human fibula or something, but I'm not entirely sure. We pressed on anyway, sure in the knowledge that, were we to be torn and devoured by wild dogs, we would at least have something with which to shoot the breeze with Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Kind of early," he would say, glancing at his schedule of deaths.

"Yeah, I suppose," I'd say.

"And you brought your kids, too?" he'd exclaim, seeing my amiable tots ambling up behind me.

"Well, see, we got eaten by wild dogs," I'd explain.

"Oh wow!" he'd say, his eyebrows rising. "Interesting. What kind? Are we talking wolves? Hyenas? Dingos? Hyenas make a terrible mess, I understand."

"No, they were just sheep dogs. They kept things pretty tidy, overall. I mean, compared to, say, a helicopter crash or something."

"Yes, yes. True, true. Well, you're early, but that means you're in time for the Milli Vanilli show. They're on tour, up from Perdition."

"Perdition, huh?"

"Yep. Lip-synching is actually a sub-sin of bearing false witness. It was in the regs, but the King James translators left it out. It's a technicality but... I don't make the rules, I just enforce 'em. Anyhow, enjoy the show."

It'd go something like that. Fortunately though, the dogs didn't bother us, so we enjoyed the castle.

As you can see from the photo, I kind of had problems with my new circular polarizer in the picture. A circular polarizer is this spinny thing on the end of your camera lens that turns the sky lots of pretty colors when you spin it. So I was taking pictures and I was spinning the polarizer and the sky was changing colors and unicorns came marching out of the clouds bearing nymphs playing harps. Then I threw up.

And that's why the sky is kind of funky colors.