I (Heart) Pancakes and Alice Cooper

Yeah, that's the back of a rear-view mirror. But what's awesome about the picture is that I'm not in it. You try taking a picture of a mirror straight on without being in the picture. It's tough to do. Unless you can disappear at will like I can. I feel like it's a talent that sets me apart and makes me more competitive for scholarships ("So... tell me about this 'Able to disappear at will' thing. Not a lot of applicants can do that.")

And that kind of reminds me of the time I graduated from high school and got a scholarship to go to college. Sure, a lot of kids got things like "full-ride scholarships" or "Famous-Person's-Name-Here Memorial Scholarship" or "underprivileged-minority-group big, fat scholarship," but I didn't get any of those things. I got the Elmer's Pancake House scholarship. If you didn't think Elmer's Pancake House cares about academics, you're freaking wrong. It cared enough to give me 500 freaking dollars to go to college. Which I spent on otter pops and string cheese. Thanks, Elmer's!

I remember how mom always told me I better do really, really good in high school so that I could get a full-ride scholarship to college. So then I did really, really good in high school. But then I didn't get a full-ride scholarship. But the guys who threw baseballs really hard but had a hard time remembering their address and phone number when they got separated from their parents at Safeway got full-ride scholarships. Thanks, mom! I should've spent less time studying and more time running wind sprints and injecting 'roids. Fortunately though, Elmer's Pancake House ponied up the big bucks, so now I'm college-educated and can more or less tell a Chagall from an Alice Cooper ("You're poison!" Does anyone else thinks that's an awesome Alice Cooper song? No? Okay, fine, Alice Cooper-hater; but can you name a cooler Chagall song? Didn't think so. By the way, I bet you never saw Alice Cooper and a semi-colon in the same parenthetical aside before, have you?) Dude, I love pancakes. Seriously.