Abu Halen

Welcome to Abu Halen.

If you listen real heard, you can actually hear the good times roll. Or at least limp. Maybe crawl.

Feb 10
Feb 10 So They Can Bask in My Mirth (or, "'Why Babies Are Born Premature' for $200, Alex")

Jan 28
Jan 28 Each Time You Curse at Girls, You Curse a Little at Yourself

Jan 12
Jan 12 A Bad Day in Belize Is Better Than a Good Day in Bakersfield

Jan 7
Jan 7 A Muted Mosh Pit in the Sky

Jan 1
Jan 1 Cannonballing Into the Future (or, "Learning How to See")

Dec 7
Dec 7 We Are Moving to India (And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say)

Nov 25
Nov 25 How It Is to be Groomed by a Miniature Mother Gorilla

Nov 12
Nov 12 If You Want a Big Fat Uhhhh (or, "Friendship Never Ends")

Nov 6
Nov 6 The Most Special-est Cubs Fan... Evah!! (or, "Thanks for the Headless Rooster")

Oct 30
Oct 30 Etch-o-Sketch (or, "80% Marias")

Oct 21
Oct 21 Electric Witches Brew (or, "Children of the Tropics")

Oct 10
Oct 10 On Archery and Cannibalism and the Satisfying Thunk of Victory

Oct 7
Oct 7 Awesome! Awesomer! Awesomest! (or, "My Mom Would Be Mad If She Saw Me Now")

Aug 6
Aug 6 When You've Left Your Heart in the Portland Rain

Jul 30
Jul 30 Mediocrely Sexy Lungs (or, "Beaverhead 55k Race Report")

Jul 17
Jul 17 Be Cool. Follow the Rules. Stay in School, Paula Abdul (or, "Straight Up, Thou Shalt Tell Me")

Jun 4
Jun 4 All the Reviews of COSTA RICA (Everything is Better in ALL CAPS)

May 19
May 19 My Wife Is Waaaaay Better Than a Blobfish

Apr 28
Apr 28 Ode to Rainy Season (or, "A Refuge For Rock Stars")

Apr 21
Apr 21 Knowing Your Rights Is Important And So Is Reading This Account of My Experiences With The Legend of Zelda