Welcome to Abu Halen.

If you listen real heard, you can actually hear the good times roll. Or at least limp. Maybe crawl.

How To Detect a Bad Homeowner

We finally moved into the house we bought two months ago, and, as a type of inauguration thing, I broke one of the doors off its hinges while stuffing a large recliner through a doorway. Sometimes, when I'm moving, the clutter and the disorganization just really gets to me, and I do irrational things. So, Shannon was gone, the kids were upstairs playing, and I was dead set on getting this huge recliner from the living room, down the hall, through a small doorway, and into a bedroom where there really isn't space for it, all by myself.

After a lot of grunting and huffing, I had the chair almost into the room. It was just slightly too wide to fit through the doorway though, regardless of how you rotated it -- and I tried all possible permutations, being somewhat of a Tetris-whiz. Finally, tired, sore, frustrated, and irrational, I backed myself up into the room across the hall, assumed a linebacker stance, sprinted across the hall, lowered my shoulder, and plowed that freaking recliner into that freaking bedroom. Wussy chair never had a chance. I sacked it like it was some sissy quarterback like Tony Romo.

Explaining to Shannon why the door was splintered off its hinges required slightly less testosterone and slightly more contrition.

Hunk Day

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